For the last blog of the semester I wanted to do something a little funny and exaggerated. I met this person at school the other day and I told him I was an English major. He replied, “I always make fun of English majors.” Nice thing to say to someone five minutes after meeting her! He went on to say that it was a worthless major and then asked, “What do you really get out of it?” So, in defense of English majors everywhere, I made a list of signs that you are an English major.
1. You have carpal tunnel syndrome from writing so many essays.
2. Your non-English major friends ask you to proofread their essays.
3. You find yourself constantly (whether mentally or out loud) correcting other people’s grammar.
4. People always ask what you’re going to do with an English major.
5. Your parents think you’re going to end up like Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids: “Help me, I’m poor!”
6. You’ve mastered being able to write a 10-page paper the night before it’s due (with the help of caffeine).
7. You name-drop certain authors like they are your best friends.
8. You’ve said “God, I hate Shakespeare” at least once.
9. Everything you write for class is not the best, but you know you can write the next great American whatever.
10. You love the smell of a new book.